Monday, June 20, 2011

Does this make me one of "them"???

I caved. I relented. I gave in. I conceded. For the first time in just over 19 years, I fell off the wagon. There were no 12 steps to save me. My dealer merely smiled and took my money.

I bought....... a Beckett.
For the first time since spring of 1992, I bought a beckett price guide. Even typing the words price guide gives me the shivers.
Did you know these things are now $10??? And that's only because my dealer wants everyone to be hooked so he doesn't charge the $15 cover price?!!
Not only that, but they are now 3/4 " thick! I should be able to read for hours! But no. Out of 168 pages, 14 pages of advertisements, 8 pages of stories, and 144 pages of price guide. All in glorious black and white, blurry newsprint.
Does this mean that everytime someone offers me a trade that I'll go sprinting over to check to see if I'm giving up a $40 card and only getting $38 in cards back? No.
I needed a handy printed checklist to look up cards because there are waaaay too many sets out there that I don't know about. After perusing this...... it may or may not work. Too soon to tell.

So out of this, I have two questions.... #1 Does this make me one of them? You know the guy I'm talking about...... I don't think so, but we're entering perilous waters here....
and question #2.... How do I tell my wife? Confused? Here's part two to my story....

Because I always need a good laugh, I started to look up some of my cards in the .... "price guide" section. I'm sitting there, chuckling away, when my wife happens along. She asks what I'm doing, and then offers to help. Now she rarely helps with anything card related except opening packs.... so I accept her offer.

Spending time with her, check. Still playing with sportscards, check. Good times, check.

I soon realized that it was a huge mistake. As I continued to pull out cards, she kept looking up their "worth". I was in big trouble.
After an hour, my wife had figured out just by using this small sample size, then multiplying by what I had upstairs, that we were millionaires. She couldn't understand why I wasn't as excited as she was.... there was no bursting her bubble. Deep into her beautiful brown eyes were dollar signs.... lots of them.
The next day I came home and there were vacation brochures on the counter. Belize, Bora Bora, and Montenegro.

I don't even know where Montenegro is.....

Then she comes home with a new car.

After reviving me, she explained it was just a test drive, and would I like to take it for a spin?

So I ask you, how the hell do I explain to her reality. And that this price guide is the furthest thing from it???
Why do they even print a price guide that haas no prices even close to true value???


(...Joe) said...

It's OK, I still use price guides. Never for the prices, but just so I always have a quick reference on hand for insert odds and SP info.

Try coming home with a new Viper and when she asks, tell her you just had all her jewelry appraised...

John Bateman said...

Tell her it is the illusion of value that is printed in the guides.

The only decent Becketts are the rookie rolodex, thus I can see pictures of cards I can never afford to own. (Because people think that is how much the card is worth).

Beckett also brings back those thrilling memories from yester year, when I would go to a card show and ask the dealer how much an unpriced card was worth and he would pull out a Beckett (I knew I was about to be ripped off).

night owl said...

#1 Unless you start tweeting about how the new McDLT is vastly underrated and that you can't wait to go home and watch 40 consecutive hours of 1990s movies and proceed to act all indignant when someone questions you on the smallest of card details, then you have no chance of becoming one of "them."
#2 It takes about 10 years of telling the wife "my cards aren't worth anything" for it to take effect. I still am not sure whether my wife believe me.

stusigpi said...

I'm about to break down and get an almanac because I can't keep all thosed 90's and 2000's cards straight.

Anonymous said...

I have a confession to make...sometimes...I look up card sets on Now, keep in mind I haven't paid for anything on their site for a long time, but it is a good source of raw information. You know, like set producer, card numbering, S/Ns, etc.

I think you're doing fine. Just don't push it...

And for #2, I would have tried to come up with a really funny line, but I can't beat (...Joe)'s. Classic.