A couple of weekends ago, I dragged the wife out of town to one of the local nurseries to look at some trees and greenery for the back yard. She agreed a little too readily, but I unfortunately didn't notice at the time. After picking out some shrubbery, (why do I feel like watching Monty Python right now?) she volunteered to drive home. The second warning sign I missed. I must be getting old. Or I've given up and haven't yet noticed.
Anyways... I'm sure a lot of you have been trapped like this. On the way home, she pulled off onto a different road and into a yard sale. All the signs in front of me and I missed all of them. Now I'm doomed for a morning of yard sales. Fantastic. Now what? Think fast man!
I did what any sane person would do. No, not cower in the back of the truck in the fetal position.... I got revenge. Payback if you will.
I bought stuff. Stuff I know would annoy the hell out of my wife. Want to see?
I bought books. Old books. Books about stuff she couldn't care less about. And I plan on leaving them laying around half read throughout the house.
You should've seen her cringe when I asked her to hold some of them while I dug for more....
and then there's the cards! Oh yeah! Again, out of a .25 cent box. How come I can't find a card shop with a .25 cent box, or even a card show with one, but I can find one at a yard sale in rural Alberta?
I used to sell those for $40.... now I'm buying them for .25.... with a $2 screw down holder included.
The look on her face when I held those up and shouted to her from 30 feet away, "Honey! Look!"
I added a rusty old metal Coca Cola sign and a lantern from the wagon train days for $5 so I could put them in the garage where she parks. She sees them just sitting there every day, twice a day now.
And I no longer am asked to go to yard sales with her.
I need to write a book or something....