This just in, a panel of drunken homeless people left over from the ticker tape parade have voted to give Derek Jeter, one of baseball's most horrendous shortstops, a gold glove for his "work" this year.
Yes, you read that correctly. Even ESPN has published an article questioning the mental stability of the voting panel. And you know if ESPN says something disparaging about the Yankees, it must be bad. After all, they had to crawl out of Jeter's ass to write it in the first place.
Derek Jeter UZR for 2009 - 6.6
Erik Aybar UZR for 2009 - 7.8
Elvis Andrus UZR for 2009 - 10.7
EDIT: I forgot about Cesar Izturis UZR 10.8 and Adam Everett UZR 8.9
The voters remarked on how Jeter committed the fewest errors of his career. That's because he couldn't bend over to pick anything up, let alone bobble it. A statue would commit ZERO errors. Let's give it a gold glove.
They probably would if it was wearing pinstripes.