Saturday, July 31, 2010

Trade Deadline Response.

For those kids who read my blog regularly, please skip this post. You know who you are, Bobby, Steve, Dan, Nick, and any others I may have missed. Thanks, and check back for the next one, I'll have up some more trade bait.

Today was the MLB non-waiver trade deadline. And of course, the first place Braves just had to make a move. They couldn't stand pat. No. All of the guys who got them into first place to begin with just weren't good enough. Fuck no. We need to make moves. Everyone else is making moves, we need to as well.

Let's fall back a moment... I was pretty quiet about the whole Yunel Escobar thing. Forget that we traded the best defensive shortstop in baseball. Forget that we traded a young guy who's only getting better. Forget that we trade the A.L. player of the week who's made the Highlight of the Night four of the last seven games. In exchange we got an older, short, slightly overweight, light hitting shortstop nicknamed SeaBass. But Canuck, don't forget about the pitcher! We also got a pitcher who has a 12:1 strikeout to walk ratio. He averages two strikeouts per inning! He's the real key in the Escobar deal!

Fast forward to today. We just traded that wonder pitcher. To Kansas City. For Kyle Fucking Farnsworth. So to summarize, we trade away Yunel for a light hitting over weight motherfucker named SeaBass and Kyle Fucking Farnsworth. But Bobby didn't like Yunel. And Bobby is God, Governor, Mayor, and Grand High Inquisitor in Atlanta. So Yunel is gone.

The rest of the trade? Glad you asked. Atlanta has the best bullpen in baseball. So we traded away one of them. Jesse Chavez. Makes sense. He was pitching too well anyway. And why not get rid of our centerfielder as well. Gregor Blanco. We don't need him anyway. Our centerfielder of the future is in AA rehabbing a year long wrist injury. Our centerfielder we traded for last year from the Pirates, All Star Nate McLouth, has been demoted to AAA because he forgot what end of the bat to hold. So we only one centerfielder left. And he's now in Kansas City.

Who'd we get for him? Rick Ankiel. The pitcher who can't pitch. The pitcher who can't play centerfield either. So who's going to play CF?
Surely they don't expect.... oh. Fuck no. Not Fat Bastard.

Melky Fat Bastard Cabrerra. He couldn't hit last year playing for the Yankees. And if you can't hit in Yankee Stadium, you can't hit anywhere. And he isn't. And he's Fat. Capital F. The other day going from 1st to 3rd, a combination of his fat and the circus tent he wears instead of a proper fitting uniform, got hung up in the wind rounding 2nd and he was tagged out without even a slide.

Bobby CAN'T be considering him for CF, can he????

And where the hell is Ankiel supposed to play? The Braves two best hitters play in RF (Jason Heyward) and LF (Matty Diaz)

We don't do the DH thing in the N.L. So one of our two best hitters is going to sit to let a pitcher play the outfield????

Sweet Jesus.

7 comments:

dayf said...

Allrighty, I've got recovery disks burning, so I've got some time to discuss now.

Yunel would still be here if he had done ANYHING this year. He was our team MVP last year, but inexplicably regressed to Francoeur levels in 2010. The man completely forgot how to hit and when he nearly got Glaus killed at first with a lollipop throw a couple of weeks ago, that was the last straw, because he obviously wasn't the best defensive shortstop anymore with his mental lapses. He's not a prospect anymore at age 27 and the Braves couldn't wait around for him anymore. Not crazy about Seabass, but the Braves have been stockpiling infielders in the minors for the past few years so we'll see if one pans out. We should really be more mad about Elvis anyway.

Now to the Royals trade. Ankiel is the new center fielder, at least against right handed pitchers. Basically, our outfield is Heyward and four other guys right now. Diaz can hit lefties, Ankiel can hit righties and Melky can now bounce around the outfield (like a 4th outfielder is supposed to do) whenever Hinske isn't filling for an obviously injured Glaus at first. Rick is actually a very good defensive outfielder so that helps. It's not an impact bat, but Liberty Media won't pay for one, so Wren has to patch the best he can. It slightly improves an outfield that was left in shambles by McLouth losing all ability to play baseball.

Losing Blanco right when he figured out how to play baseball sucks, but we replaced him with Wilkin Ramirez, a similar player we got from the Tigers today. He might be good, he might suck, but Frank is at least working to keep the depth in the organization.

dayf said...

(part 2 - yes I type too much)

Kyle Farnsworth I'm somewhat bewildered by. I thought he turned into a gasoline can since signing with the Yankees, but apparently he's had a decent year with the Royals. The last time he pitched this well was with the Braves in 2005 where he was great in the regular season and SUUUUCKED in the postseason. Luckily, he's going to be the 5th option in that bullpen after Wangs, Saito, Moylan and Venters so he adds some really good depth. I still think he's most likely to pull a Leibrandt if the Braves get into the playoffs.

Jesse Chavez sucks. Flat out sucks. Throws up meatball after meatball even if they are pitched fast. He was given a job over Venters out of spring training even though he was awful and didn't earn it and due to injuries ended back up as the last option in the pen (Not counting Kawakami who may as well be in Japan at this point). The guy is not good and will not be missed. Sucks we gave up Soriano for him, but that was another business move by ownership just waiting to sell the team when they are able to do so without taking a tax hit.

I too am disappointed by trading Tim Collins, but look who we didn't trade. We didn't trade Freeman, we didn't trade Minor, we didn't trade Teheran, Vizcaino, Delgado or Hoover, we didn't trade Kimbrel or Hyde, we didn't trade any of the catchers or infielders that are looking good in the minors. If we had gotten an actual impact bat like Fielder or Dunn, or any of the fake impact bats like Hart, Ross or Willingham, we would have had to give up some of those guys and could end up with Teixeira part 2. Wren improved the team (albeit slightly) and kept all the major kids expected to produce for us in the next 5 years. It's not very exciting, but he did a decent job.

Now it's time for the players to step up and get into the playoffs. Chipper needs to step it up or get out of the 3-spot in the lineup. Glaus needs to admit he's injured and sit for a while. Lowe needs to not suck. The whole team needs to stop freezing up whenever the bases are loaded. There is no excuse for not getting more guys home with so many opportunities. And EVERYBODY needs to quit sliding into bases goddamn head first. Wither that or make the idiots wear mittens when running the bases, first Heyward and now Prado with broken fingers from sliding head first. Goddamnit.

dayf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alison said...

I really did feel like crying when I read this post. I've been trying to feel as optimistic as I could about the trade because there is no taking it back. But this trade ruined my entire day, because I had looked forward to seeing Gregor back in Atlanta.

I really did believe, that for once, we wouldn't make any moves. I thought maybe... just maybe, we could stay where we were, and send a message to the other teams: "Yeah, bitches. We're contenders, and you go ahead and make your blockbuster trades. We're gonna sit tight with this sturdy team because we're bad ass motherfuckers."

No. We didn't do that. We traded GREGOR FUCKING BLANCO for Rick Ankiel, essentially. How is that in any way an upgrade? We traded a ROOKIE pitcher and a GREAT PROSPECT for 34 year old Kyle "I LIKE TO START FIGHTS" Farnsworth.

I'm so mad I want to cry.

Justin G. said...

Hey now at least your team has a chance to make it to the playoffs. Try being an O's fan...the deadline is when they're supposed to pick up good prospects, players you can get excited about. I'm not excited about Rick VandenHurk or Wynn whatever his name is...

drzachary said...

This post makes me wonder if the blogger even follows the Braves. Jesse Chavez = HUMAN WHITE FLAG. Losing him is an upgrade, even for Kyle Freaking Farnsworth. Gregor Blanco is an AAAA outfielder. Ankiel at least has an arm in CF and the chance to hit homers while never getting on base (McLouth just never got on base.)

Sean said...

OH MY GOD I LOVE JEAN LUC PICARD.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

tasty.

sh.