Another fabulous weekend in the Premier League brought to you via long distance.
Well, I guess it's long distance all the time.... but the point is I'm not really here. I haven't been here for a few days.
Okay, I am HERE... but I'm not there, which is normally here.
I'll be back in a day or so.
On to Week 5!
Young English sweeper Denyce Lawton shows off the new English kits, both home and away.
Yellow card for Spanish midfielder Rochelle Loewen for not replacing that torn top.
German winger Catherine Kluthe shows us the new Visi-ball that is used in the Premier League during the colder months when it's darker and the threat of snow is upon us.
Mexican striker Alejandra Gutierrez demonstrates a red card offence. Hair pulling. That's a no-no.
and yes, in this day and age, even the most popular sport in the world is susceptible to the perils and evils of political correctness.
The Phillipines brings us our first trans-gendered athlete, DJ Lady Tribe.
I can't make this stuff up.
She's doing a grea..... I mean he's done a fantas...... let's hear it for the trans-gendered.
Moving on.... all teams play this weekend, so get your picks in by monday evening at the latest.