2008/09 Upper Deck Hockey FatRackBlaster thingy

I stopped by my local card shop after work today... ( I say local.. there's only two in a city of over a million people...) to pick up a couple of boxes of pages. I try to buy wax from this guy. Really, I do. $99 for a box of Timelines? $140 for a box of Documentary? And no packs to speak of, as he only has one box of each...
But what are these??? RackFatBlister packs of '08/09 UD Hockey? I've never seen these... I must have one.
Okay, so near as I can tell... you get two packs of 16 cards with no shot at ever getting a hit. I'm cool with that. Oh, and it was $5. He had wax packs for $4... only 8 cards. Maybe a hit. (yeah, right)
A FatRackBlister it is!!!
It's a battle between Top and Bottom! Who will win? Top? The heavily favoured, used to winning, bright and popular? Or the Bottom? The underdog... the dark, racy, seedy underbelly you turn your nose up at in public....

Let's find out!

Top:
First card - Jarome Iginla - Flames!
Down goes Frasier! Down goes Frasier! A first card knockdown! Bottom is dazed... takes a standing 8 count. - 10 points

Stephen Weiss - Panthers - meh. 1 point
Ray Witney - Hurricanes - a solid veteran. 51 goals last season and on my fantasy team. 4 points
Steve Ott - Stars - meh. 1 point
Chuck Kobasew - Bruins - a former Flame 2 points
Dion Phaneuf - Flames! Dion is celebrating after turning some Minnesota guy into goo... 5 points. and Dion is dating Elisha Cuthbert. 10 points. (hey, it's my game)
Erik Christensen - Thrashers - ZZzzz 1 point
Bill Guerin - Islanders - pretty good player for a long time. 2 points
Stephen Valiquette - Rangers - 1 point. A golie in action shot. 1 point.
Carey Price - Canadiens - the hottest young goalie in hockey! 10 points. Deleting the damn scan of him and not being smart enough to be able to "insert it" back into the middle of my post... -5 points
Mark Knuble - Flyers -2 points. (I'm still mad at losing my scan of Carey Price)
Brad Boyes - Blues - good defenceman. 2 points
John Madden - Devils : 20 points!!!! Oh. Not that one. This one. -18 points

Peter Mueller - Coyotes Decent young player 3 points, playing for the Coyotes, -2 points
Sidney Crosby!!!

another standing 8 count! 10 points for Sid the Kid!
Kari Lehtonen - Masked Men Insert

if you're French-Canadien or from Finland, you either are, or you know, someone who is a goalie in the NHL. It's true. Look it up. It's like that whole Six Degrees thing... 2 points.

58 points for the Top! That's gonna be tough to beat.... Let's see how the Bottom responds...

First Card:

Robert Lang - Black Hawks - a sniper... 8 points. Pronouncing his last name "Long" -6 points

Henrik Zetterberg - Red Wings - an awesome player. 7 points

Colby Armstrong - Thrashers - meh. 1 point

Jay Bouwmeester - Panthers 2 points

Bobby Ryan - Ducks - Bobby was picked second in the draft, immediately after Sidney Crosby. Pittsburgh, may I present you with lifetime passes to Chef Gordon Ramsey's restaurant. Anaheim, may I give you a $25 gift certificate to Denny's. -5 points

Francois Beauchemin - Ducks - 1 point

Milan Micheluek - Sharks - 2 points

Mikko Koivu - Wild - Younger brother of Saku, whom I think is an awesome player for Montreal. 10 points. My buddy actually got Mikko in the 12th round of our 12 round hockey pool. That, my friends, is called stealing.

He's beating me in the pool...... -4 points.

Alexander Semin - Capitals (that's with an "I" folks, I double checked) 8 points

Marc-Andre Fleury - Penguins. A goalie... 3 points

Ryan Kesler - Canucks 1 point

Jussi Jokinen - 5 points

Marc Staal - Rangers One of the three Staal brothers in the NHL right now. 8 points

Daniel Carcillo - Coyotes... remember that Coyotes thing? 0 points

Mike Ribeiro - All Star subset - 3 points

Roberto Luongo - One of the best goalies in the game today, 15 points. Playing for the Canucks, -5 points ( I said, it's my game )

Bottom remains standing to score a 53. Close, but no hockey stick. Top remains tops thanks to Elisha Cuthbert. Who is to hockey players what Alyssa Milano is to Dodgers starting pitching. Those of you who know what I mean, good. Those of you who don't, it's probably better that way.

These packs are awesome! Anybody seen these anywhere? Is $5 too much? Now I have to go and build this set dammit! Anybody got doubles to trade????