Saturday, February 20, 2010

MLB bans weapons from clubhouse...

In what might be the next winner of the Shouldhavebeenobvioustonormalpeople Award, Major League Baseball has issued a statement that from this day bans all deadly weapons from all Major League Clubhouses.

In part, the statement says :*
Titled "Major League Baseball's Weapon-Free Workplace Policy," it says MLB "shall prohibit the possession or use of deadly weapons in any facility or venue owned, operated, or controlled by it." Included are "firearms, explosives, daggers, metal knuckles, switchblade knives, and knives having blades exceeding 5 inches."


Anyways... what the players really care about is still a loophole in the rule.

"Security and law enforcement are excluded, and possession in parking lots is allowed if protected by local laws. Major League Baseball said it was allowed to grant exceptions."*

Great. So drive bys are still okay. That will satisfy most of the players. And MLB can grant exceptions. Because we all know that some guys just feel incomplete as a man without "firearms, explosives, daggers, metal knuckles, switchblade knives and knives with blades exceeding 5 inches" on them at all times. Baseball is a violent game you know.


* all sources from


Carl Crawford Cards said...

Damn, they moved pretty quickly on that one. If they'd only done the same on roids....

Jason said...

"knives with blades exceeding 5

Ok, so no machete, no katana, no scimitar, but assorted shivs, stilettos and daggers are still permissible.

Tim said...

Gee....and I went and bought all this C4 for the Yankees to use as medicine balls.

Anonymous said...

They said nothing about nunchucks did they?